Some experts say parents are overprotecting kids: Shielding children from every setback may limit resilience and independence.
Challenges help children grow: Age-appropriate risks and occasional failure can build confidence and problem-solving skills.
Step back when it's safe: Let kids solve problems, handle disappointment, and earn more independence over time.
For years, parents have been told that their job is to keep children safe.
Don't let them climb too high. Don't let them get dirty. Don't let them walk alone. Don't let them fail. Don't let them get hurt.
But some experts argue that modern parents may have swung too far in the other direction, creating a generation of kids who have fewer opportunities to build resilience, confidence, and independence.
That's the central argument behind a recent essay in The Free Press, by Charlotte Grinberg, MD, which suggests that many parents are spending so much energy trying to eliminate every risk that they may be unintentionally limiting valuable childhood experiences.
Why experts are concerned
Dr. Grinberg’s argument is that children learn through experience. They learn by climbing, falling, solving problems, making mistakes, navigating disagreements with friends, and figuring things out without constant adult intervention.
Yet many childhood activities that were common a generation ago have become increasingly rare. Walking to a friend's house alone, riding bikes around the neighborhood, playing unsupervised at the park, or simply spending hours outdoors without adults hovering nearby are far less common than they once were.
Some child development experts worry that excessive protection can limit opportunities for kids to develop confidence and independence.
When adults constantly step in to solve problems, children may miss opportunities to practice problem-solving on their own.
The hidden cost of overprotection
Dr. Grinberg argues that parenting should focus on preparing children for independent adulthood rather than shielding them from every possible risk.
That means kids need opportunities to practice making decisions, managing disappointment, handling conflict, and recovering from mistakes before they leave home.
A child who never experiences failure may struggle more when they encounter it in college, at work, or in relationships.
Likewise, a child who is shielded from every uncomfortable situation may have a harder time developing the confidence needed to handle challenges independently.
The key is allowing age-appropriate risks while maintaining reasonable safety boundaries.
Tips for parents who want to raise confident, capable kids
Finding the right balance between protecting children and preparing them for adulthood isn't always easy. But experts say parents can help build resilience by giving kids opportunities to solve problems, make decisions, and learn from manageable mistakes.
Ask yourself whether it's actually dangerous—or simply uncomfortable. Every scraped knee, awkward conversation, or disappointing outcome doesn't require a parent's intervention. If the situation isn't putting your child in real danger, consider whether stepping back might give them a chance to build confidence and independence.
Resist the urge to solve every problem. When children run into challenges with homework, friendships, teachers, or everyday responsibilities, encourage them to work through the issue before stepping in. Knowing a parent is available for guidance is important, but learning how to solve problems on their own is an essential life skill.
Prepare children for the world instead of trying to remove every obstacle. Life will always include setbacks, disagreements, and uncertainty. Rather than trying to eliminate every challenge, focus on teaching children how to think critically, ask questions, adapt, and recover when things don't go as planned.
Give kids more freedom as they earn it. Independence doesn't have to happen all at once. As children demonstrate responsibility — whether that's walking to a friend's house, managing their own schedule, handling money, or communicating with teachers — gradually give them more opportunities to make decisions on their own. Small steps today can build the confidence they'll need as adults.
Let them experience disappointment. Not making the team, getting a lower grade than expected, or losing a competition can be valuable learning experiences. Children build resilience by working through setbacks, not by avoiding them.