At last Christmas is here, and an end to the constant Christmas carols that have played in every store and business you ever dared visit, ever since Black Friday. Most of those Christmas carols emphasize cold weather, all Jack Frost and sleigh rides and snowy days, and if you’re one of those Americans who enjoyed unseasonably warm weather just before the holiday this year, you know how disconcerting it is to sing about Jack Frost nipping at your nose when it’s 68 degrees outside.
But what about people in the southern hemisphere? Christmas comes just four days after the start of summer for them, and if they want to go walking through a winter wonderland they have to wait until July.
Do Southern Hemispherians have climate-specific Christmas carols of their own? We couldn’t find any, which is why we’d like to offer our readers Down Under these alternative lyrics, to make northern-centric holiday carols more suitable for your own home environments. And whether you live in the southern hemisphere, the northerly climes or smack-dab on the equator, we wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year.
THE CHRISTMAS SONG (Australian version)
Stuffed shrimp roasting on an open barbie
Foster's reddening your nose
slather on sunblock and go to the beach
to feel the sand between your toooooes ....
LET IT SNOW (altered for annual summer heat waves)
Oh the weather outside is frightful
But the A/C is delightful
And since we’ve no trips to take
Let it bake, let it bake, let it bake.
Just think of big waves crashin and splash-splash-splashin’ us too
Come on it’s lovely weather for a beach trip together with you.
Outside the sun is shining and kids are whining “Take me!”
Come on it’s lovely weather for a beach trip together with thee.
Hurry up hurry up hurry up let’s go, let’s get on the road
Before the traffic jam gets really slow.
Hurry up hurry up hurry up it’s grand, the waves on the sand …
Are you listening?
On our brows
Sweat is glistening.
A hot sunny day
Let’s go out and play
Strolling through a summer wonderland.
GRANDMA GOT RUN OVER BY A REINDEER
Grandma got run over by a ten-speed
Jogging to a clambake Christmas Eve
You might say there’s no such thing as cyclists
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.