Losing a license doesn't always mean driving is over: Appeals, medical evaluations, retesting, or restricted driving privileges may still be options.
Memory problems can make giving up the keys much harder: Doctors and driving specialists can help determine when it's no longer safe to drive.
Have a transportation plan ready: Rideshare, senior transportation, family rides, and delivery services can help an aging parent maintain their independence.
My dad recently failed a driving test and lost his driver's license. It made me realize how little guidance there is for what happens after an older adult is told they can't drive anymore.
Losing a license isn't simply about losing a car, or a truck in my dad’s case. It can affect grocery shopping, medical appointments, friendships, and perhaps most importantly, a person's independence.
Sometimes the decision isn't necessarily permanent. Depending on why the license was suspended or revoked, an older driver may be able to challenge the decision, provide medical evidence, retest, or qualify for restrictions.
Other times, particularly when dementia or significant memory problems are involved, the family may need to help someone stop driving permanently.
Here's where to start.
Find out exactly why the license was taken away
Don't assume failing a test automatically means someone will never drive again.
Rules vary by state, so start by reading every document the DMV provides. Find out whether the license was restricted, suspended, or revoked. And exactly why.
In California, for example, the DMV can require a driver to be evaluated if there are concerns about their physical or mental condition or deteriorating driving skills. The DMV officially calls this process a "reexamination," and it can include a medical evaluation, vision and knowledge tests, and a behind-the-wheel driving test.
Possible outcomes aren't always simply "drive" or "don't drive." California can impose restrictions such as requiring corrective lenses, prohibiting nighttime driving, or limiting where someone can drive.
What to do: Ask the DMV specifically what would have to happen for driving privileges to be restored or restricted rather than revoked.
Don't miss your chance to challenge the decision
If you believe the DMV got it wrong, don't wait to investigate your options.
In California, drivers generally have only 10 days to request an administrative hearing when personally given notice that their driving privileges are being suspended or revoked. This changes to 14 days if the notice was sent via the mail.
At a hearing, drivers may be able to present medical information and other evidence supporting their ability to drive safely.
Other states have different procedures and deadlines, so be sure to check directly with your state's DMV or licensing agency website.
Pro tip: It’s important to always keep every DMV notice, medical evaluation, and test result together. Also, write down all important dates and deadlines as soon as you receive them.
Consider an independent driving evaluation
If Dad says, "I'm perfectly capable of driving," and the family says, "No, you're not," you're probably not going to settle that argument over dinner.
Consider bringing in someone who can evaluate the situation objectively.
A comprehensive driving evaluation can assess cognitive, visual, and physical abilities along with actual behind-the-wheel performance. These evaluations are often performed by occupational therapists or driver rehabilitation specialists.
Instead of recommending taking the keys away, a specialist might recommend things like additional training, adaptive equipment, or driving restrictions, that could allow someone to continue driving in a safer way.
You can search for a specialist in your area through the Association for Driver Rehabilitation Specialists.
Of course, the evaluation may also confirm what nobody wants to hear, that it’s time to stop driving.
Memory problems make this much more complicated
A failed road test and dementia aren't the same problem.
Someone with mild cognitive impairment may potentially still be capable of driving safely. But progressive dementia can affect judgment, reaction time, navigation, and the ability to respond appropriately when something unexpected happens.
California, for example, may allow some drivers diagnosed with mild dementia to undergo reexamination. The state says drivers diagnosed with moderate or severe dementia aren't eligible for reexamination because they can't safely drive.
But families can face an even harder problem: What if Mom or Dad doesn't remember that the license was taken away?
Or remembers but refuses to accept it?
The National Institute on Aging recommends involving the person's doctor and potentially taking steps to prevent access to a vehicle. This can include things like hiding the keys, disabling the car, or simply selling it.
Pro tip: It’s smart to try and avoid making one family member the permanent bad guy. Instead, ask the person's doctor to explain why driving may need to stop. It will often be much better received and will avoid creating resentment in the family dynamic.
Replace the transportation before taking away the independence
This may be the most important step.
Don't tell Mom she can't drive to the store anymore without being able to answer the obvious question: "Then how am I getting to the grocery store?"
Make a list of everywhere the person normally drives during a typical month. Think about doctors, pharmacy, groceries, church, haircuts, restaurants, friends, and family.
Then find an alternative for each one. Possibilities include public transit, paratransit, senior transportation programs, Uber or Lyft, family members, grocery delivery, and pharmacy delivery.
The federal government's Eldercare Locator can also connect families with transportation and other aging services available locally.
Pro tip: If your parent already uses Uber or Lyft regularly, ask a driver they know and trust if they also provide private rides outside of the app. Having the same trusted driver for groceries, appointments, and errands can make giving up driving much easier. Just make sure the driver has appropriate insurance for providing paid rides outside the app.
Figure out what the car was actually costing
One objection you'll probably hear is that Uber or another transportation service is "too expensive." But compare it with the actual cost of owning a car. After you add up insurance, gas, registration, maintenance, repairs, and any car payment, and it may not be.
If getting rid of a vehicle saves $400 or $500 a month, suddenly a $15 or $20 rideshare trip looks different.
Selling an unneeded vehicle could also provide additional money that can be earmarked for transportation. Take the amount previously spent on the car each month and create a dedicated "transportation budget." That can make paying for rides feel less like an unexpected expense.
Don't forget the insurance — or the car sitting outside
Once someone permanently stops driving, call the auto insurer before changing anything.
Ask whether the person should remain on the policy, how coverage changes if a spouse or family member continues driving the vehicle, and what could happen if the person whose license was revoked gets behind the wheel anyway.
Then decide what happens to the car, as this is particularly important when memory loss is involved. Keeping a familiar vehicle in the driveway with keys readily available can create a temptation for someone with dementia who simply forgets they're no longer supposed to drive.
Selling or relocating the vehicle may ultimately be safer than repeatedly hiding the keys.
Pro tip: Ask your health insurer about potential help with rides. Some Medicare Advantage plans include transportation as an extra benefit, including rides to medical appointments. Call the number on your insurance card and ask specifically about transportation benefits, eligibility, and any limits.
The goal isn't simply taking away the keys
For an older adult, "You can't drive anymore" can sound a lot like "You can't live your life anymore."
That's why families shouldn't treat losing a driver's license as merely a DMV problem.
If there's a legitimate path back to safe driving, investigate it quickly. Understand the appeal process, get medical documentation, and consider an independent driving evaluation.
But if returning to driving isn't safe, particularly because of progressive memory problems, change the goal. It might be time to figure out how you're going to give back as much independence as possible.