Fathers of daughters reported higher levels of attachment, commitment, trust, and intimacy with their partners than fathers of sons.
Researchers surveyed nearly 1,700 parents across three separate studies to explore whether having a daughter was linked to fathers’ relationship behaviors.
The researchers say the reason for the difference isn’t clear, but how fathers treat their partners could also shape what daughters learn to expect from future relationships.
Having a child can change a couple’s relationship in plenty of ways. But new research from Rutgers University suggests the sex of the child may also play a role in how fathers approach their relationships.
The study, published in Personality and Individual Differences, found that fathers of daughters showed higher levels of attachment, commitment, trust, and intimacy toward the mothers of their children than fathers of sons.
That doesn’t necessarily mean fathers of girls are better parents. Instead, the researchers found a difference in how fathers appeared to engage with their partners.
“Having a daughter appears to be protective of the primary parent relationship,” researcher Kristina Durante, professor and research fellow at the Center for Women in Business, said in a news release. “When men have daughters, it alters their psychologies in interesting ways, including, as we found, higher levels of commitment to the mother.”
How researchers studied the connection
The researchers conducted three surveys involving nearly 1,700 parents across the United States.
In the first survey, they asked fathers of daughters under age 18 about the quality of their relationships with their children’s mothers. A second survey looked at the issue from the other side, asking mothers of daughters how they viewed the fathers’ behavior toward them.
The researchers also wanted to determine whether any differences existed before men became fathers. So, in the third survey, they recruited people who were expecting a baby during the final trimester of pregnancy. Their questions were designed to determine whether differences in relationship behavior were already present or appeared after the participants became parents.
What the findings could mean
Across the research, fathers of daughters were perceived as being more attentive to their partners. Both the fathers themselves and the mothers of their children reported higher levels of relationship commitment and other measures of pair-bonding.
The researchers aren't sure exactly why having a daughter was associated with this difference. One possibility is that fathers may become more conscious of the example they're setting for their daughters. A father who is supportive and committed to his partner may unintentionally demonstrate what a healthy relationship can look like.
The researchers also pointed to other possibilities, including changes in relationship expectations and cultural ideas about protecting daughters. They emphasized that these are possible explanations, rather than established reasons for the findings.
For families, the researchers say the potential significance may extend beyond the parents themselves: How a father treats his partner could help shape what his daughter comes to expect from men and relationships later in life.
“Relationships are enormously beneficial to men, but historically they've been especially critical for women,” said Durante. “A father who's actively working at his own partnership is showing his daughter that this kind of investment from a man is possible, and worth expecting.”