70% of Americans say watching their parents age has changed the way they approach financial planning.
Caring for aging parents can put financial pressure on adult children, making it important to balance helping family with protecting your own finances.
Experts recommend planning ahead by maintaining an emergency fund, continuing retirement contributions, reviewing insurance coverage, and having honest conversations with family members.
Watching your parents get older can change more than family dynamics. For many Americans, it can also prompt a closer look at their own finances, future plans, and the responsibilities they may eventually take on.
A new study from Ethos, based on a survey of 1,079 U.S. adults, finds that 70% say seeing their parents age has changed the way they approach financial planning. For some, those changing family roles can even blur the line between being a child and becoming a caregiver — and may influence the financial decisions they make for their own future.
ConsumerAffairs spoke with Nichole Myers, Chief Underwriter, Ethos, to learn more about financial security, adult children reaching new milestones with their parents, and more.
How the survey was conducted
Ethos surveyed 1,079 U.S. adults who own life insurance to examine when people begin to feel like adults, how major life milestones are changing, and what prompts them to take financial planning more seriously.
Seventy percent of respondents said watching their parents age made them take their own financial planning more seriously. A parent's health scare and reaching a certain age were the most commonly cited events that prompted that shift, with 18% naming each, while 11% said a parent needing daily help was the turning point.
The survey also found that 42% of Americans sometimes feel more like a parent to their own parents, while 25% already help care for an aging parent and another 39% expect to do so.
More broadly, the findings suggest that traditional markers of adulthood are changing, too. Fifty-two percent said they reached major adult milestones in a different order than their parents did, and 50% said getting life insurance made them feel like a true adult. Meanwhile, only 26% said they have written a will, showing that feeling financially responsible and actually putting a formal plan in place don't always happen at the same time.
How aging parents are affecting adult children
Myers explained that financial planning can often feel more urgent as you watch your parents grow older.
“Adult children end up helping to meet the costs that can come with aging, like medical bills and long-term care,” she said. “This is changing how people approach adulthood. For a lot of Americans, adulthood is now less about checking off milestones like marriage or homeownership. Instead, it involves being able to handle responsibility when your family needs you.”
In addition, watching parents age can impact how adult children think about their own finances.
“When you experience what aging can cost, a lot of people start looking at their finances differently,” Myers said. “They may build up a bigger emergency fund or get more serious about paying off debt. I also see people becoming more willing to have uncomfortable money conversations with their parents about housing and long-term care. It’s not uncommon for your emergency savings to someday cover someone else’s emergency, too.”
Adult children as caregivers
Another factor that comes into play: adult children acting as caregivers to their aging parents.
While this can take both a financial and mental toll, Myers shared some advice for those in this situation.
“The first instinct is often to start paying for things yourself,” she said. “Before using your own savings or pulling money out of retirement, it helps to get a picture of what your parents actually have available to them: income, insurance, benefits, savings, and monthly expenses. Then decide what you can afford to contribute without putting your own finances at risk.
“Helping a parent shouldn’t mean wrecking your retirement in the process. That can create the same problem for your children years from now.”
Some of Myers’ financial tools to consider if you’re caring for a parent:
Prioritize keeping an emergency cushion
Continue retirement contributions whenever possible
Review life and disability coverage
Have honest conversations with siblings or other family members about how the caregiving load can be divided