How to Find a Roommate

1. Decide what you want in a roommate

It’s good to have an idea of what qualities you do and don’t want in a potential roommate prior to starting your search.

Are you the type of person who cares if a roommate’s significant other spends the night? Does loud music at night bother you? Are you OK with leaving dishes in the sink overnight or do you want to take care of them right away? Make a list of the qualities that you do and do not want in a roommate and refer back to it as you go through your search.

2. Conduct a roommate search online or through friends

Once you have an idea in mind of what type of roommate(s) you want and what factors are important to you, it’s time to begin your search. A good place to start is by asking your family members and friends if they may know of anyone looking for a roommate.

Harlan Cohen, author of “The Naked Roommate: And 107 Other Issues You Might Run Into in College,” offered us the following suggestions.

• Company groups: If you are employed, see if your company has a roommate matching program, Cohen suggested.
• Friends of friends: Friends can cross boundaries sometimes so they don’t always make the best roommates, but friends of friends is a “great way to go,” Cohen said, so see if any of your friends’ friends are looking for roommates.
• Local college: If you’re in your early twenties and working, consider checking out local colleges and use their networks to search for a roommate.
• Alumni groups: If you are part of a local alumni chapter of your college or graduate school, this could be another avenue to try to tap into to find a roommate. Doing so can be a good way to potentially find a roommate with less worry about the situation being a scam or the person not being a good fit for you, Seamus Nally, CEO of TurboTenant, told ConsumerAffairs.

Where to find a roommate online

If asking friends, family and local communities is unsuccessful, taking your roommate search online is probably a good idea.

“These days, people primarily find roommates online — and there are tons of different sites and routes of doing it this way,” Nally of TurboTenant told ConsumerAffairs.

Discord servers, Facebook groups or any forum made up of similar people in similar life stages are a good place to go to hunt for potential roommates, Cohen said. Reddit is also a good thought, added Nally.

There are many online sites and apps that can help you find a roommate.

• Roomi: With this service, you answer questions about yourself and then Roomi uses an algorithm to best match you up to a compatible roommate.
• Roomie Match: This website says it offers protection from roommate scams. It reports it is “human-reviewed,” that the IP address and actual location are verified, and that there are no “AI-generated fakeouts.” As a member, you can specify your gender, lifestyle choices and pet-friendliness in order to match with potential roommates.
• Diggz: This website promises to help you find roommates and rooms. You can register for a free account.
• SpareRoom: You can use this app to fill a room, find a room or find a roommate. The site says administrators screen and verify the ads.
• Roomster: You can look for roommates and rooms in 192 countries (and search for those who speak up to 18 languages). Roommates match based on interests, keyword searches and personality traits. This service lets you link to your social media and then you can connect through the app’s mailbox.
• Craigslist: You can use this service to find a roommate in many different cities.
• Rainbow Roommates: The site helps connect LGBTQ+ friendly roommates in New York City.

Always be vigilant when searching for a roommate online. Author Harlan Cohen also recommends being honest when filling out surveys on roommate-finding apps or programs.

3. Meet the potential roommate

Once you’ve found a potential roommate, it’s important to strategize where to meet up in person and what questions to ask your potential roommate when you do.

For one, always be skeptical about people you meet online. Go in with questions in hand and be prepared to drop it if something feels off.

You should also meet potential roommates in a safe, neutral place, preferably during daylight hours and while sober, Cohen suggested. Consider bringing a friend or family member along with you when you meet them.

During the meeting, you can ask questions to make sure you are compatible. Find out if you’re on similar sleep schedules, and ask about their cleanliness preferences and what their lifestyle is in terms of sobriety, Cohen recommended. Ask about their employment status and what activities they’re interested in. Don’t forget to ask about their past living situations:

“If they’ve had seven roommates and they hate them all, chances are you are going to be the eighth roommate they hate,” Cohen said. Also ask about how capable they are of communicating when they’re uncomfortable — talking through discomfort is crucial for roommates.

Pay attention to details like if the potential roommate arrives on time, listens to what you have to say and responds thoughtfully, as well.

» MORE: How to make friends in a new city

Red flags to watch out for

There are a few things you want to avoid when it comes to roommates:

• Friends as roommates: Finding roommates through friends of friends can be a great path, but be more careful of rooming with actual friends. Living with a friend can be great, but it can also be a nightmare, according to Cohen, because friends tend to push boundaries and they don’t always listen. If you do choose to live with a friend, be very clear about your expectations and discuss upfront how you’ll communicate if something uncomfortable comes up (e.g., one roommate has a significant other over all the time or is incredibly messy).
• They refuse to put utilities in their name: This is a bad sign, Cohen said. It’s helpful to have a roommate who is in a stable place in their life. This is a person you are going to be sharing a lot of expenses with and if you don’t have a relationship with them, “it’s setting yourself up to be in a bad place.”
• They can’t communicate: If you meet a potential roommate and they don’t communicate well during the meeting, that’s likely how they’ll act as your roommate, too, Stevens of TurboTenant explained.

If you notice any of these red flags that could result in future problems, you may want to consider a different roommate.

4. Outline roommate expectations

If you are considering moving forward with a potential roommate, first outline expectations for how you plan to live together. This can include things like who will be in charge of setting up internet and utility services, how you will split rent, how you will divide up chores or procedures for hosting guests.

Be upfront and transparent about any boundaries you’d like to set. Do you want designated quiet hours? Do you plan to share household items like cleaning supplies, or do you want to keep these things separated? Communicating these expectations from the start can lessen the chance of future conflict and help you weed out potential roommates who don’t align with your preferred living arrangements.

5. Consider a background check

After you meet with a roommate and are clear on how you want to move forward, you may want to consider vetting them through a few other avenues before finalizing your arrangements.

For instance, you may ask for references like past landlords and past roommates. You can confirm with these people that your potential roommate’s claims are true — like if they really aren’t messy or always pay their bills on time.

You may also consider paying for a background check — one site Cohen likes is BeenVerifed. Also consider getting proof of employment and running a credit check. Cohen suggests checking their social media accounts and doing an online search with their name in quotes to refine results.

6. Draft a roommate agreement

Once you’ve selected a roommate, write an agreement that determines how the two of you will share various common expenses (e.g., rent and security deposit). Having these expectations outlined in writing can protect you if your roommate doesn’t pay what they owe and you need to seek legal recourse.

Also consider writing up a contract on non-monetary issues, suggested Stevens. These could be on guest policies, how to share cleaning supplies, etc. That way, you have an explicit plan to refer back to if conflict arises.

Finally, make sure the lease is in both parties’ names, not just one, Cohen suggested.

Bottom line

Finding a roommate takes diligence and effort, but by being honest in filling out your online profiles and/or answering questions, asking the right questions, diligently checking a potential roommate’s references, having honest conversations and being selective and in tune with red flags, you are likely to find an excellent and compatible roommate.