PhotoThe German word fremdschämen refers to that feeling of vicarious shame or embarrassment you feel on someone else’s behalf when you watch them make fools of themselves. We came down with a mild case of fremdschämen a couple of weeks ago, when we told you the embarrassing story of how the new Yahoo email is so bad, even Yahoo’s own employees don’t want to use it.

Not that Yahoo executives paid any attention to customer complaints about the new email; they only kept insisting, “This new email is great, especially all the rich new features we added” and “Don’t you just love our feature-rich new email system? It is great,” and “This new email differs completely from the old one. Ergo, greatness ensues. Check out all these rich new features!”

Unfortunately, these new features apparently don’t include “ability to send email” or “ability to receive email,” which is why our personal fremdschämen levels rose right off the charts when we read the latest installment in the Yahoo email saga: Certain Yahoo users found themselves unable to access their email, starting Monday night – and as of Thursday, some still can’t.

New account? Forget it

PhotoOur editor, by the way, reports that he tried to open a Yahoo account a few days ago to see for himself how good/bad it was. Unfortunately, the process hung about halfway through and he was never able to complete it. Not a good sign, really.

Just to add to your holiday cheer, there’s a chance any emails sent between Nov. 25 and Dec. 9 might have vanished altogether. So if you’re a Yahoo email user wondering why you haven’t been getting responses to things like job-application emails or Christmas gift orders — well, it’s possible the problem lies in the quality of the job application itself, or the mail-order-company’s customer service. But it might also be true that these emails never arrived in their intended recipients’ inboxes.

To console you, here are some reassuring words from that magnificent memo written by Yahoo execs Jeff Bonforte, SVP Communications Products, and Randy Roumillat, CIO, urging employees to switch to the new feature-rich Yahoo email:

“Certainly, we can admire [other established email systems Yahoo employees stubbornly insist on using] for its survival, an anachronism of the now defunct 90s PC era, a pre-web program written at a time when NT Server terrorized the data center landscape with the confidence of a T-Rex born to yuppie dinosaur parents who fully bought into the illusion of their son’s utter uniqueness because the big-mouthed, tiny-armed monster infant could mimic the gestures of The Itsy-Bitsy Pterodactyl.”

Confession: we still don’t know exactly what this means, possibly because every time we try reading it our vision gets blocked by enormous blinding clouds of fremdschämen. We were going to ask that you email us if you can explain it, but if your email account is with Yahoo you’d just be wasting your time anyway. Forget we even brought it up.

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