Love is in the air with Valentine’s Day every year, but when it comes to romance and dating online, not all are lucky. Finding a partner presents its own set of challenges, and with romance scams blooming, it’s costing people their mental health and money.
But just how big is the problem?
An estimated 58,734 people fell victim to romance scams in 2024, a 6% decrease from 2023 affecting 62,368 people, according to an analysis of data from the Internet Crime Complaint Center, Federal Trade Commission, Better Business Bureau and AARP by research firm Comparitech
Losses were also down by 0.8% from $702.7 million in 2023 to a predicted $697.3 million in 2024, Comparitech said.
And while reports to the FTC decreased, Comparitech said that reports to the BBB and AARP increased, which are also organizations where people can report scams.
But many people don’t report romance scams.
Not everyone is willing to come forward to admit they’ve been scammed because of the embarrassment, said Kathy Waters, co-founder and executive director of the nonprofit Advocating Against Romance Scammers, which raises awareness about romance scams.
“Unfortunately, we are still a society that passes judgment on such victims when they truly are not aware of the psychological manipulation that goes into making a scam successful,” she said.
Rebecca D’Antonio, a romance scam victim who lost $100,000 to a scammer she met on OKCupid, a dating website she thought was trustworthy, found the reporting process to be “impersonal, granular, and triggering,” she said in an interview with ConsumerAffairs.
After going to her local police station to report the crime, she was given the runaround before ultimately being pointed to IC3, which only takes crime reports online.
“I was just scammed from being online,” she said. “What I needed was somebody to talk to.”
Signs of a romance scammer
Waters said it’s important to note that just because you have met the person online, doesn’t mean you know them.
“Don’t talk to strangers, never send money and keep all of your social media accounts set to private,” she said.
To help watch out for a romance scammer, AARP put together a list of tactics to watch out for:
The “wrong number” text: Scammers use this tactic to get people to converse with them, with the hopes of forming a romantic relationship.
Moving off of dating platforms to WhatsApp or other messaging services: Scammers use this tactic to go around the rules set up by websites that identify and block fraudsters.
They live far away: The romantic interest isn’t available to meet in-person, because they claim they are either “abroad for business, a military deployment or charity work.”
Constant contact: The scammer uses this tactic to “love bomb” the person they are scamming by texting often and promising a life together.
Meeting plans falter: The scammer manufactures a last-minute crisis as an excuse to not show up.
Money for an emergency: The scammer may suddenly have a “medical problem, legal crisis or business disaster” and they need money fast to help them out.
Investment opportunity: This is a tactic where the scammer says they have a relative who has done well in cryptocurrency, and try to dupe their romantic interest into investing.
How to report romance scams and get help
If you have been scammed, help is available. The process may be difficult to wade through, but the following agencies can help:
The Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3): This is the central hub for reporting cyber-enabled crime, and is run by the U.S. Federal Bureau of Investigation.
FTC: Consumers can report impersonators, annoying phone calls and more in their online reporting system.
BBB Scam Tracker: This tool is used to name con artists, their associated phone numbers and email addresses.
AARP Fraud Watch Network: The AARP also operates a helpline that allows consumers to connect with others who have been scammed and speak to fraud specialists who can provide guidance if they’ve been targeted.
Email Amritpal Kaur Sandhu-Longoria at asandhulongoria@consumeraffairs.com.