In 1994, I was prescribed Paxil 10 mg to alleviate the anxiety attacks I was having. At the time, I was functioning at a very high level, very creative and with the ability to articulate in any given moment a thought, idea or otherwise. I attempted to ween off twice - both failed attempts as physiologically my body would not accept withdrawal (I had become free of anxiety attacks). At the time, I have perfect cognitive functioning.
In 2004 moved to Effexor XR, 37.5 mg. The intention was to switch drugs - get over the "hump" at that time and then get off antidepressants all together. With the doctor had a ween plan - attempted 3 times with failure. The withdrawal symptoms were far worse than any reason I ever went on the medication. It includes lethargy, brain fog, cognitive dysfunction, apathy, muscle pain and more.
Finally 5 years later, in 2009, I decided to finally "ride the wave" and ween off of the Effexor XR and be off prescription medication for good. A nightmare occurred as the weening began, I started to notice my cognitive functioning was decreasing; word recall, disorganized thoughts, comprehension and synthesizing of ideas and thoughts became compromised. It worsened as time went on.
After 2 years and 3 months (no exaggeration), I finally took my last pill, May 2011. I have been off the med for almost 10 months and only in the last 3 weeks I begun to feel like myself. However, the cognitive issues have continued and have created a swing of emotions - frustration being the big one. I feel like I have "lost my marbles". I cannot always finish my sentences as words/thoughts just are not there. The High level intellect and creative thoughts seem to be dormant. The internal "processor" of information in the brain has a deficit, has a "missing link" now that was not there prior to or during the time I was on the med.
Physically, coming off created a slew of emotions and weight gain that I have never experienced before. I believe that these meds are not designed for people to really come off - not meant for people to be on for years. I pray and can only hope that my brain (having placidity) has the ability to mend itself and "rewire". I cannot imagine having to live this way the rest of my life.
