Our Man Truman Solves the USPS Problem in No Time

Forget stamps, how about a hook-up with Google Adwords?

12/02/2011 | By Truman Lewis

| ConsumerAffairs.com | Misc

The cash-starved U.S. Postal Service has been racking its collective brain trying to think of new money-making ideas. So after who knows how many hours of diligent brainstorming, what have they come up with?

Ads on trucks.

Yep, a century or so after ads first began appearing on buses, subway cars, trucks and other moveable surfaces, the USPS is experimenting with selling ad space on its trucks.

As part of a pilot program, USPS and Denver-based Lighted Promotions -- which installs lighted outdoor ads on big rigs -- have sold advertising on the back of 17,000 USPS freight trucks in 11 states.

It costs about $500 to $600 a month to advertise on one of the trucks. So far, the ads have been for topics related to driving -- highway safety, seatbelt use, drunken driving.

There aren't any ads for Starbucks or iPhones -- not even any of those ubiquitous Google ads.

Hey! There's an idea. What if USPS did a deal with Google. They could put a camera -- you know a minicam, like on your laptop -- on the back of the mail trucks.

The camera could read your license plate and compare it to its stored profile of your known characterisitcs (nose size, eyewear, hairstyle, etc.) and then deliver ads that reflect your mood of the moment -- ads for divorce lawyers, antacid tablets, mortgage rescue, high-paying jobs in sunny climes.

Google already knows everything about you, right? And the USPS knows next to ... well, never mind. Let's just say they're complementary.

Good ahead and laugh. It beats selling stamps.

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Mark Thayer (Fri, 02 Dec 2011 16:57:36 +0000): Love that thinking out of the (mail) box!

Bill Ham (Fri, 02 Dec 2011 22:25:37 +0000): While it is true that usps needs to do whatever it can to increase revenue, this is a very bad idea. Infact if this is implemented they will no doubt be sued before it gets off the ground. There is no way that google or the usps would ever get away with a program that admits it uses license plate numbers. While advertising may help tremendously, using personal info such as license plate numbers will never fly.

Michael Broderick (Sat, 03 Dec 2011 10:40:48 +0000): Hey dumbass. Re-read the story...it was a sarcastic idea by the author and not even fucking considered by the USPS.

Marty Cavanaugh (Fri, 02 Dec 2011 23:52:12 +0000): USPS can solve it's problems fairly simply. Give decent (doesn't even have to be good, just decent) customer service. You know...like when a package has been stamped 12 times 'Do Not Bend', not folding it twice to make it fit in the box. *shrug* start there and run with the idea. Private carriers give good Customer service and are profitable. I'm sure USPS could increase profitability by increasing CS. oh...wait...a government agency giving a damn about it's customers. Sorry - I forgot about the law against that. Never mind. (and @Bill Ham...everything after 'oh...wait...' was sarcasm. Since you seemed to have trouble recognizing the ridiculously obvious sarcasm in the article, I figured you might have trouble with mine too.)