Bullying Could Be 'Cured' With Some Quality Dad Time

Do your kids think you work too much and don’t spend enough time with them?

If so, this perception could lead to them becoming bullies, according to research by Vanderbilt University sociologist Andre Christie-Mizell.

“Our behavior is driven by our perception of our world, so if children feel they are not getting enough time and attention from parents then those feelings have to go somewhere and it appears in interaction with their peers,” said Christie-Mizell, an associate professor of sociology and licensed psychologist specializing in family therapy and the treatment of children with mood and behavior disorders.

His study, published in the journal Youth & Society, looked at two questions: “What is the relationship between the number of hours parents work and adolescent bullying behavior?” and “What is the relationship between bullying behavior and youth’s perceptions of the amount of time their parents spend with them?”

Christie-Mizell studied the behavior and perceptions of 687 children who were 10-to-14-years-old and living in two-parent homes in 2000.

Bullying behavior

He measured their bullying behavior using a scale based on the Behavior Problem Index (BPI), a 28-item scale designed to assess typical childhood behavior syndromes.

Typical bullying behavior included being cruel to others, being disobedient at school, hanging around kids who get in trouble, having a very strong temper and not being sorry for misbehaving.

Christie-Mizell also looked at the children’s parents’ work hours, with about 40 percent of the mothers and 47 percent of their spouses/partners working full-time (35 to 40 hours per week on average) along with 15 percent of mothers and 50 percent of their spouses/partners working overtime (more than 40 hours per week).

Quality time

What Christie-Mizell found might be surprising to some -- it was children’s perception of how much time they spent with their fathers that had the most impact on bullying behavior.

Christie-Mizell began the research thinking mothers’ work hours would be more likely to have an impact on whether children exhibited bullying behavior since mothers overwhelmingly are the ones to care for and monitor children.

However, it was when fathers worked full time or overtime, and their children felt neglected because of this, that bullying behavior increased.

In fact, the mothers’ work hours showed modest to no effect on bullying behavior.

Christie-Mizell believes this is because children perceive mothers as being more accessible since they still handle most of the responsibilities at home as caregivers and family managers.

“The findings about fathers and mothers are important because it turns what most of us think is conventional wisdom -- that mothers have the most influence on children -- on its ear. What this research shows is that while it’s equally important for kids to spend time with both parents, fathers need to make an extra effort,” said Christie-Mizell.

Kids and dads

His suggestion to remedy this situation is for fathers to set up a schedule to spend quality time with their kids. Even if it’s just a once a week outing for breakfast or some time spent playing sports.

Christie-Mizell says the interaction has to be purposeful so children know they will have this time and that time is devoted to them -- so random, last-minute trips with Dad to the grocery store don‘t count.

“Children need to know they have this scheduled time and it’s important for fathers to try to keep to the schedule as much as possible. If fathers have to miss, then it’s also important that they explain to the child why they have to miss their scheduled time and how what they are doing instead affects their family,” said Christie-Mizell.