By Truman Lewis
ConsumerAffairs.com
July 17, 2010
As our mate tucked inside HOWS Trancas Market in Malibu Friday for bread, wine and gluten-free low-carb snacks, we sat outside watching and waiting as a bronzed, barefoot surferess came skipping merrily through the parking lot, darting from person to person to share the good news with them.
As she made her way towards us, we considered what wondrous thing had come to pass that it had brought such joy to the simple and the not-so-simple folk of America's Riviera. Peace and love had broken out in the Middle East? The BP gusher had been capped and the Gulf was on the mend? California had balanced its budget?
But, alas it was not to be.
"Steve Jobs fixed the iPhone, Steve Jobs fixed the iPhone!" the maiden of the sea informed us breathlessly.
Of course, as is so often the case, that was not quite the entire story. Not even a very big slice of it, in fact. What Steve Jobs had done was promise his followers that if they continued to believe and to follow in the paths of righteousness while texting, surfing and yakking on their iPhones4, they would receive a free case -- or "bumper" -- that would fit around their miraculous little gadget, supposedly preventing, or at least lessening, the problem of dropped calls caused partly by the phone's external antenna.
In recent tests, sparked by consumer complaints, Consumer Reports confirmed the iPhone 4's signal-loss problem, and also determined that the Bumper is able to alleviate the issue.
All smartphones have similar problems, Jobs sniffed, asserting that "no one has solved this problem" even though he said Apple engineers have been "working our butts off so we can come up with real solutions to the antenna issue." (A tin hat, maybe?)
But, unlike the sea nymph, whose joy could barely be contained, Jobs did not appear particularly pleased by his latest loaves and fishes trick. In fact, he seemed downright peeved by the whole affair, which he said had been blown out of proportion.
Of course, there are those who would say the iPhone and other Apple "miracles" have been blown out of proportion by Steve's messianic media-minders. But like most corporate titans, the Jobsman gets grumpy only when the ultraportionality is not of his own creation.
Jobs said that free cases would be available on the Apple website by the end of next week, to all customers who purchase iPhones prior to September 30th. After that date, he said the company would "reevaluate" the issue. "Maybe we'll have a better idea," he said. Then again ...
Those who purchased earlier bumpers will be offered a onetime dispensation and will be eligible for a refund, Jobs decreed. Whether those taking the refund will be forever banished from Jobs' presence (thus joining the ranks of the jobless) wasn't specified.
Somewhat grudgingly, Jobs acknowledged that there really is a signal loss problem that occurs when users touch a specific area of the phone's external antenna array. But he said that it affects "a very small number of users," and that the issue can be avoided by not touching the phone in that area.
This is the digital equivalent of the doctor who asks a patient if it is painful to turn his neck a certain way. If the patient says that it is, the doctor then advises the patient to stop turning his neck that way. Problem solved.
Not so fast
Having taken Jobs' word as gospel, the acolytes of the techno beat went back to praising Apple but there was less joy in Consumerland, where the Apple faithful have not yet been delivered from the dropped-call desert. While Jobs' promised miracle may come to pass, agnostics aren't so sure relief is on the way.
"My husband and I switched to AT&T; after purchasing Apple iPhone4 - The service is horrible," said Angela of Winthrop Harbor, IL, in a complaint to ConsumerAffairs.com. "I had sprint for more than 3 years and hadn't dropped a phone call ever. The iphone drops calls for multiple reasons. User can be "holding the phone" incorrectly. Accidently touch screen to face - hit mute - or just hang up. It's horrible and seriously frustrating.
"We have 3 iPhones, said Ron of Upper Arlington, OH. "The response time since 4 came out has been horrendous. Texts fail, phone calls drop, don't go through."
Nor was Jobs' promise seen as infallible by Consumer Reports, whose revelation that the emperor had no clothes had touched off the controversy.
"Consumer Reports believes Apple's offer of free cases is a good first step. However, Apple has indicated that this is not a long-term solution, it has guaranteed the offer only through September 30th, and has not extended it unequivocally to customers who bought cases from third-party vendors," the magazine said on its blog Friday. "We look forward to a long-term fix from Apple. As things currently stand, the iPhone 4 is still not one of our Recommended models."
